Fragile Emotions
by MakeMeYou
Summary: Even though Kanata and Yuki's childhood bond is strong, the cruel fate of the cycle breaks the two apart. Only tragedy is awaiting these two. Yuki's emotions breaks and was Kanata's love for him really fake?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Uraboku, thank you very much!**

**Anyways...I decided to write a sort-of anime based one-shot of Yuki x Kanata. So, meaning that I didn't add any fantasy crap or lovey dovey poo in it. After re-watching episode 13, the whole episode made me cry :_( I'm such a big fan girl of those two and it's really sad that they won't end up with each other. That makes my day feel crappy. **

**The whole story may not make sense, because I added and subtracted some stuff. **

**Anyhoo~ enjoy my try in writing a serious fanfiction xD please don't kill me.  
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* * *

In another life, I will be your lover…_

"Yuki…I wish you well…" I snap open my eyes, looking at the man who was my…my…

Who? What was he to me? His name…his name…I forgotten already, it's a torn, splattered painting down in my grand memory gallery. But whenever I try to remember…I would cry with so much sorrow coursing through my veins, making me tremble violently. Luka tries to comfort me in the embrace we shared, but it's futile.

So much fighting had tore through our barrier of mentality that we worked on for so long. I'm tired and looking past all those blood red roses that were adorned with jagged thorns, remind me of _him_ and the pain that remained in my body and everyone who fought this gruesome battle against the duras and the opasts.

_A glimpse of blue…_

There were also those blue cold roses…they were held in his very hands before…

So blue like the ocean…his waves of sorrow and fury were endless. Maybe God will give me a chance to save him? I wanted to be close to him…bringing him happiness and guiding him to the path of salvation, so all this blood shed would stop for good.

_So that we don't have anymore wars…_

My final request…was to forget all and be reborn as a male. I hope Luka understands that if we were to end this, we must not have such emotions in between us. These shared emotions made me sadder whenever I had to depart him. I comprehended that my request may be selfish, but I don't know anymore. I'm tired…and I wanted to sleep for a long time, but I know that this wish may never be complied.

As Luka's black blade impales my heart, I was glad that everything was fleeting…like Luka's pained expression, seeing me billow against the impact. The astral sky dimmed, as my eyes closed. I was dead to the world…

_A new me will be reincarnated and this cycle will restart again.

* * *

_

I instantly open my eyes, greeted by the darkness and the serene breathing rate of my best friend Kanata. It was the first time that I had such a depressing nightmare that was ephemeral, yet haunting. Desperate for comfort, I snuggle a bit closer towards Kanata. I just needed to sleep and wait for the morning to be born again. Then all that is sad can be brushed aside by Kanata's beautiful fingers.

Whenever I had nightmares, Kanata was the first person I would consult it with. He was my everything, my friend, my brother, my mother, my father, and I considered him as my idol. Our meeting was a blessing and that was when I thought that my life wasn't as bad as I had thought it truly was, being an orphan and having an enigma over why my mother left me.

Kanata was hurt; I could sense it, even though he didn't show it, no tears threatened to spill. On the other hand, I was crying for some reason on that day as well, I don't remember though…it was a trivial matter. But I considered his situation as something far worse than mine; he was bruised on the cheek. Was he slapped? When I saw him walk with Mr. Director, I knew he was one of the unwanted children.

I ran over to him, curiosity and a hint of sorrow piles up inside of me when I saw how bad the damage looked on his cheek. That's when I cheered him up with the metaphor as pain being birds being pent up in cages. They wanted to beat their wings out in the open air and fly away.

_Pain, fly away…_

He smiles, the smile that makes me smile as well. We laugh, the gloomy day that canopied over us didn't seem so depressing in the end.

Winter came; Kanata and I were always playing in the snow. We were very fond of each other. That's what the nice ladies always told us, I was a bit flustered when they told me this. It was true, but it made me sound like such a cling.

* * *

One day, Kanata crafted an adorable snow rabbit for me. I was so happy, that I wanted to store it in the freezer, but it melted in the end. I wanted to cry over that fact, but Kanata cheered me up with a gift. It was a mellow colored scarf; he said that the color matched my eyes and it was my Christmas present. He just decided to give it 2 days earlier. In return, I panicked for a moment…thinking what to give him for that Christmas.

I requested the cleaning lady to teach me how to bake a cake. I had everything planned out like a blue print. After a few attempts of baking ruined cakes, one came out just right. I was so proud of my own creation, that it took me a lot restraint not to spoil the Christmas surprise.

I held onto my excitement until Christmas night.

I dragged Kanata over to his room that Christmas night and he was quite surprised. A small chocolate cake that was adorned by slightly sloppy flowers stood obediently on the coffee table. Of course, he smiles genuinely and we cut the cake. I don't quite remember what got me so flustered…was it something he had done? All the little bits were not sticking to my brain, maybe I wasn't prepared to accept the little bits.

Then it became that every cold season, we'd do something special. While on the warm seasons, we would always talk about the beach and as we got older we thought about taking the other children in the orphanage with us.

_But now, I'm afraid that dream may never come true._

* * *

Now that I'm in high school, I've been so swarmed by school work and finding an apartment, since I was close to turning 18 already. Kanata doesn't live in orphanage anymore; he found a job, a nice apartment, and he has become a productive citizen. I envy that very much and I miss his presence, his warmth, his assurance, and everything really, although, he does come from time to time to visit me and everyone in the orphanage.

I've been having these really sad and strange dreams about this man…he makes my heart want to tear itself out of my chest and at the same time he pacifies my internal struggles. I'd always wake up reaching for the air…reaching for him. But I tend to forget…

I don't want to bother Kanata with my personal matters, since we weren't kids anymore…I felt like the distance between us is growing larger.

He starts to mutter strange things and I question him about this silver book sitting on his desk…when did he have this book? It starts to make me ponder and I feel like I was having a Déjà vu moment.

Kanata is very vague, but he said he just learned how to read some of it.

* * *

A sequence of events occurred and I finally met the man who was in my dreams. I feel this nostalgic and sentimental feeling inside of me…like I knew him somewhere before. These are not my feelings…I also didn't desire them, but somehow I felt the need to accept them. This was fate's meaning…

A female voice in my conscience calls out to him, _"Luka…"_ It was faint, yet strong.

The Zweilt guardians all knew something about me…like I fought with them in the past. I did something like that in my past life?

I then gain a bit more knowledge in how my abilities works…their pain becomes mine to carry, after I heal them. No wonder I became so weak after healing one of them. Luka never wants me to heal his wounds, in fear of me having to carry his painful burden.

_

* * *

Dread…_

The first feeling that shot through my heart when seeing Kanata glare at me with so much contempt…hate…everything that made my heart cower. I call out to him in desperation; he doesn't shed a glimpse of mercy against me.

Takashiro shields me from the incoming ice shards, everything was happening so fast. Blood stains the icy glazed floor; fortunately Takashiro recovers from the giant wound. How? It was a mystery…it looked like worms or some sort ate away his wound.

Luka breaks through the magic barrier and goes to my side.

While the two book wielders summon their dragons and the fight starts. Luka protects me from the strong impacts the best he can with his own magic.

Luka's voice faded into the back of my mind…my eyes was held onto Kanata…who was Reiga.

"_I've abandoned the name Wakamiya Kanata." _

"_Yuki, I will kill you." _

He couldn't be Kanata…my chest hurts from all the pain and confusion.

Everyone was fighting…I regain some of my senses and observed the ongoing battle between the two necromancers, under the protection of Luka.

Takashiro's Solomon destroyed Reiga's Raziel. He was about to destroy Reiga…Kanata.

"Please stop!" I shouted out, Takashiro stops casting the finishing spell and Solomon disperses.

Kanata is hurt; he looks like he had so much antipathy filled in him. I want to be hopeful, wished that he'd come back to me. But it was futile; all my words of pleading had only touch him a little.

He leaves, warning me about Takashiro and bidding a bitter farewell. All the sweltering thoughts, made me weak. I drop to my knees…Kanata, his name still lingers. I cry out his name countless times and remember the bitter coldness that surrounds me. Everything is cold and dead…filled with wailing sorrow and antagonism.

Did Reiga have to face all these negative emotions? It was as if the world abrogated his very existence.

Was the benign Kanata that I once knew really a fraud? No, I knew him better than anyone else…or so I thought…

I should've stayed with him, should've went back home with him when he begged me back then…back to the children and to the tranquil state of the orphanage. Then none of this would've happen…

"_Yuki…"_ My own name was replayed in my ears…whispered, shouted, yelled, and said, all in Kanata's voice and then Reiga's. They were so different.

I faint after I couldn't breathe anymore, all my tears were drained away.

I wish everything was one big nightmare. I wished that Kanata would be there when I wake up and he would tell me that it was just a dream and wipe away my tears with his fingers like jewel cups. He would stroke my hair and his voice would be so comforting like a feathery pillow.

But would never happen…Kanata was lost inside of Reiga and I may never hear his gentle tone, or see his genuine smile ever again.

My lachrymose feelings drown me into dreams…

I wanted to walk beside Kanata…_forever and ever_…

_I love him._

_

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**Such tragic love indeed :( I want to jump off a cliff now. Kanata! ****I'm not sure if this story is 100% grammar proof or even spelling proof. But I'm too tired to look it over xD sorry! Hope you enjoyed it! Oh and the community needs more Kanata x Yuki love ;)  
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